HELLO 2017

Hello 2017!

I'm so happy to see ya! You have been long awaited for. Not sure why but I have been waiting. You see 2016 was too hard on me and I'm hoping that you will be much nicer.

2016 took some things from me. Not material things. Not special people. But a feeling of being needed. A feeling of having a purpose. A feeling of having my place. Case and Caden are no longer leg grabbers. They are no longer chubby faced toddlers. They no longer need me 24/7.
They have grown up. That season of my life have evolved into having an almost teenager and a 9 year old that thinks he's 30. No more morning snuggles while watching Disney and eating cheerios. No more singing "You are my Sunshine". No more carrying them around on my hip while kissing their dirty cheeks.

So this is what 2016 took from me. Well I guess I can't blame it all on 2016 because I guess 2015 took some too but the bulk of it was 2016. So my struggle is where do I belong? What is my purpose? Who do I nurture and care for 24/7?

February 2016 I think Matt saw I needed something. That I needed to be needed. With that he got me a chicken coop and 6 chickens. That 6 chickens grew to 46 chickens. With 3 more coops being built/bought. It got me through the summer and as much as I love my chickens. (And I am seriously that crazy chicken lady) I am still missing something. I am still searching for something.

So 2017 you see I need you to be easy on me. As I gear up for a 12 year old to turn 13. For a 9 year old to turn double digits. For a few more grays to show in my hair and a few more wrinkles to line my faces. I'm not sure if it gets easier or harder or if I will learn to deal or if maybe God will bring something in my life.

For all you mothers that have babies that cry all night. For all you mothers with 2 year old tantrums. Smile and know that its only a season. Its only for a little while. It only last a blink of time. I know its hard for you to see that but I promise you will one day look back and wish to hear that crying baby. To hear the shrills of your toddler. To have a snotty kiss smeared on your face. To have that smell of baby in your lap. You will miss it I promise.

Kiss those babies!!
Camra